One Man Force (1989)

Tagline:

Jake Swan. Narcotics Detective. 6' 8" - 280 lbs. 21" biceps, 55" chest. No one enforces the law... like he does!

Back of DVD:

Detective Jake Swan does things by the book - his book. But when a drug bust he plans results in his partner's death, Jake goes on a rampage that ends in his suspension from the force and a quick slide into booze and guilty depression. Trying to hold himself and his partner's family together, Jake turns to private investigation, taking on the bizarre case of a kidnapped rock star. The trail descends into an underworld of drug smuggling, money laundering and international corruption, putting Jake against the same people responsible for his partner's murder. Only this time Jake uses maximum force to guarrantee that justice is served.

Movie Review:

Now this is Explosive Action! This movie is fantastic! John Matuszak is hilarious as the renegade cop that won't do things by the book, and that supporting cast: Sam J. Jones, Richard Lynch, Charles Napier, Ronny Cox! They even got an authentic, one-hit-wonder 80's pop tartlet to play.. an 80's pop tartlet (Stacey Q)! Amazing stuff indeed.

Pete (Sam J. Jones, Flash Gordon!) and Jack (John Matuszak, "Sloth" from The Goonies!) are buddy cops trying to bust an illegal Mexican drug operation. With tips provided by snitch drug dealer Chico, Pete and Jack go to their Lieutenant (Ronny Cox, Robocop) to get a search warrant but he denies it due to lack of hard evidence; the man wants FACTS! The two disregard Ronny Cox and go to the warehouse anyway, stopping by first to threaten Cico the snitch that if his intelligence was bad, Jack would "blow off your head and shit down your neck". They sneak into the warehouse and as the deal is about to proceed announce their presence, which of course results in a mass shoot-out.

Pete gets shot and in a fit of blind rage Jack absolutely loses his shit, picks up a GOD DAMN REFRIGERATOR and crushes the shooter into a pylon! See the animation to your right, it never gets old. The Mexican boss flees in his Rolls Royce and Jack carries Pete into the sunset. Action gold.

Some time later and Jake still pissed, he find Chico in his van and beats the crap out of him, smashing his van to pieces in the process. Jack gets arrested, chewed out by Ronny Cox and then suspended from duty to which he simply yells "Fuck you!" and pushes his stationary off his desk. It takes an angry man to yell at Ronny Cox. I saw what Cox did to the last guy that did that; sent Clarence Boddicker around to his house to kneecap him.

Meanwhile there is a new report on television about a pop singer (Stacey Q, lol's) who was kidnapped at gunpoint during a concert. That night a guy who says he is the girls manager comes to see Jack about some private investigation work in locating her and he agrees to help out. Getting a lead from the station evidence room Jack checks out a local nightclub which, like all 80's action movie nightclubs, is a hive of bad fashion and bad music. This one takes the cake though with some total freaks on display including a guy on a leash. The Mexican guys from the drug deal gone bad see him and attack which then turns into a total stacks on with transvestites piling on top of him! Jack breaks free and (this is awesome) grabs the guy on the leash and swings him around like a helicopter propeller, knocking everyone into the walls and the ground! This is the best movie ever.

The next day Jack goes to see his manager client at his house but finds him dead in his bath. Initially arrested for murder, good ol' Ronny Cox bails him out after Jack explains that he thinks the kidnappers are the same people that killed his partner Pete. Cox tells him to stay away but of course he doesn't listen, it wouldn't be a bad action movie if he did. This is when we finally see Charles Napier and Richard Lynch make their appearance as the men behind an investment firm who are dealing with the Mexican drug dealers on the side. It would seem the drug dealers are holding Stacey Q as in lieu of payment due by Lynch and co. The only real negative I have to say in this movie is that Charles Napier is sorely underused and Sam Jones dies too early. Napier only has a few lines and Lynch doesn't do much until the end, but he gets a good speech in at least.

There's just so much more gold in this movie. Jack has a car chase with Chino, shoots his windows out and drives him off a ramp and into a boat, which explodes. Jack gets captured, put into a packing crate and like the Hulk bursts out of it, on the back of a moving truck, strangles the driver and causes the car to drive off a cliff; all the while yelling "You killed my partner!" The car explodes and Jack cooly says: "Damn. I forgot to bring my marshmellows." Jack not content with throwing a fridge at a guy in the beginning throws a Pepsi machine at a guy at the end. And then there's the awesome final shootout that sees one of the bad guys (guess which one) hanging from a rope upside down swinging in and out of a blazing fire.

One Man Force is one damned fine bad-action movie. All the boxes are ticked. A loose cannon cop? A hard-arse captain? Car chases with explosions? Mexican drug dealers? Pick this one up and enjoy with friends; it's a riot.

The Video:

A nice, grainy 80's movie picture that fits the movie perfectly. The audio was a little treble-y and clipped occasionally when John Matuszak kept screaming but otherwise fine. IMDb lists the movie as originally being filmed widescreen and there are scenes that would agree with this statement, but all the DVDs released seem to be fullscreen. Runtime 87 minutes.

Thanks to McCabe for the screenshots (my computer wouldn't read the DVD) and animated fridge-throwing image!

Sourced From:

eBay UK seller for a pound.

Trailer:

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Armstrong (1998)

Tagline:

The Cold War has Just Heated Up.

Back of DVD:

CIA agent Bob Taylor (Charles Napier) arrives in Moscow with his new wife Susan (Kimberley Kates) with a highly secret vieo tape of Russian missiles leaving an unknown base near Moscow under the cover of darkness.

Are these missiles destined to be aimed at the US or are they being smuggled to a terrorist organisation. The Americans need to know where these missiles are going, the only person who can help them  discover their destination is Armstrong (Frank Zagarino) an ex buddy of Bob who now trains an elite Russian anti-terrorist squad under the command of Colonel Zukov (Richard Lynch). Zukov is from the old guard, corrupt, ruthless, and will stop at nothing to gain control.

Movie Review:

Here we have a late 90's Nu Image bad action flick and wow, does it ever live up to the description of 'bad action'. Particuarly the 'bad' part. But honestly it's a lot of fun anyway so here we go.

An American couple arrive in Moscow (Charles Napier as 'Bob' and Kimberley Kates as 'Susan'). This itself is funny as he is about 25 years her senior. Though I suppose I shouldn't be a prude about these things. Times are changing, and all that. They are very obviously being followed by another car as they leave the airport and Bob can't stop sweating. When they get to their hotel, Bob hides a VHS he had in his pocket (!) inside the rooms video player. Hopefully his wife won't tape over it with Russian sitcoms, because it's probably important.

Somewhere else in Moscow, a blond guy drops out of a helicopter on the roof of a government building and shoots a grappling hook to the opposite window. The guy swings over, smashes through the window, beats up the guard then kills the whole room of military officers by sliding along the boardroom table on his back and letting rip with his machine gun. Oh no, it was a fake, and the blood was just jam or something. Haha. Turns out his name is Armstrong and he has been hired by the Russian Colonel Zukov (Richard Lynch as a bad guy again) to train Zukov's elite KGB forces. Frank Zagarino as Armstrong is pretty funny in this. The guy is a pretty average actor and his line delivery is terrible but he has fun in this role anyway.

Bob goes to see Armstrong at his apartment. He tells him that something is going down in the Russian military - there are plans to sell nuclear weapons to the Middle East - and he needs to help to stop it. Just as Bob is about to tell Armstrong about the video tape, a bunch of mafia guys burst in and shoot the place up, killing Bob but Armstrong escapes out the window. Charles Napier really had a short part in this as he buys it really early on. When the mafia guy (Joe Lara, credited only as Ponytail because, like, he has a ponytail) shoots him and blood splatters on his shirt he gets upset and yells at the dead Bob "Look at what you did!" - then shoots him another half dozen times. One of Ponytail's henchmen chases Armstrong in his car through the city streets, swerving to miss a pram (nice cliche) and crashes into a pile of boxes.

Kimberley Kates is pretty hot. After the funeral of her husband, she gives the video tape to Armstrong. Not liking what he sees on the video he goes to see 'the only person he can trust', a young Captain in the army, and convinces him to go to the army depot and stop the sale of the weapons. Susan decides to have a shower and, well, you can definitely tell that a male directed this movie. The door bell rings (room service, that she didn't order) so she quickly dresses in a light shirt (without drying first) and answers the door. Even though she pulls a gun on the guy, I think his expression would have been the same regardless ("oh my god, boobies"). She spends the next ten minutes soaked, headlights beaming, fighting off Ponytail (who had hidden in the room service cart, that old trick), escaping out the window and running down the street (still soaked, and with no pants on). I was surprised at how much action Susan had in this scene. The best part is when she runs along the hoods of parked cars with her persuer trying to knock her off with his own car. Then she rolls under a tram!

There's a few other good parts in the movie like the chase on foot through the derelicts, the fight with Ponytail's fat friend ("No speak English good!", "Then speak English bad!"), the foiled sniper attempt on the President at the opera (which Susan gets all prettied up for) and the finale is classic bad action material with Armstrong armed with twin AK47's trying to defeat ticking clocks, untie Susan from a chair, and stop bad guys that come back from the dead for a final shot. Joe Lara isn't bad as the sleazy Mafia guy, but I loved his daft accomplice that kept getting in trouble from his boss for doing the wrong thing ("I kill her now boss?").

There's nothing at all new in this movie; you've seen all of it before, and you've seen it done better, but "Armstrong" is still a fun ride. What I found strange was that this came out in 1998 - it certainly feels more like a 1990 movie, but I guess that's what happens with cliched bad action flicks: you lose all sense of time. It's not done particularly well or anything but it's pretty serviceable as a late night bad action flick and doesn't overstay its welcome.

The Video:

Being a Nu Image from the 90's the picture is full-frame. The picture is perfectly fine with good colours and deep blacks for a movie of this quality, and the audio is clean and clear. Nothing to complain about here. I reviewed the R2 DVD. Runtime 95 minutes.

Sourced From:

eBay for 93c.

Trailer:

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Maximum Force (1992)

Tagline:

Watch out for the Maximum Force!

Back of DVD:

Captain Fuller (John Saxon) has been haunted his entire career by the most powerful drug lord L.A. has ever seen (Richard Lynch). One day he unite three renegade cops (Sam Jones), (Sherrie Rose) and (Jason Lively), each with their own deadly skills.

Their mission: Infiltrate the crime underworld and destroy it from within. Working as a team, the cops become a well-oiled machine, declaring war on both the corrupt Chief of Police (Mickey Rooney, star of 46 films) and the crime lord's deadly minion (Jeff Langton).

Movie Review:

Well I made it to ten reviews - going well so far! What more fitting movie to review on this mini-celebration than a real PM Entertainment explosive action movie, and with a title like Maximum Force could it really be anything but awesome?

The movie starts with Rick Carver (Jason Lively, from Night of the Creeps and not much else) an undercover cop on a rooftop doing surveillance work. He is watching a gun deal going down when a homeless guy interrupts him to ask for spare change. He tries to shut the guy up by giving him a few bucks but the homeless guy gets interested in all the weaponry that Rick is carrying (this bum knows far too much about military hardware). The bums antics caused them to be spotted by the people Rick is watching and next thing you know a helicopter sides up along the building and takes out the bum. Rick runs while being fired at, grabs a grenade launcher and takes the freaking chopper out in a massive fireball. This is only five minutes into the movie so we are going well so far.

Next we watch another cop, Michael Crews (Sam Jones, from a truck-load of bad action flicks) bargain his way into an illegal kickboxing club. He watches for a while before the security try to throw him out - apparently the sign on the door says 'no pigs' and he should have paid attention to it. Not being appreciative of the security he gets into a rumble and punches them out, also getting thrown on stage with the fighters. Fighting a losing battle he fires his pistol into the air and says "I'm a police officer!". We are still only ten minutes into the movie.

Lastly we follow Cody Randal (Sherrie Rose, the girl from King of the Kickboxers), a female cop posing as a hooker on the streets. She tries to get picked up by a passer-by in a convertible but instead she hand-cuffs him to the wheel. A pimp who didn't see the arrest but did see Cody suggests that she become one of his girls and that he should "sample the merchandise first". Cody plays along but the guy she arrested in the car yells out and breaks her cover. The pimp pulls a gun on him but Cody gets in first and blows him away. Too bad really as the pimp was Sonny Landham - Billy from Predator. I was hoping to see more of him in this.

So far we are off to an awesome, action filled start, but often with movies like this the start is all you get. Luckily the movie keeps the pace up pretty much the whole time. Interjecting the three scenes mentioned above is dialogue being served from a true b-movie veteran, Richard Lynch (playing the movie's bad guy Max Tanabe), who does a similar role he did in Chuck Norris' Invasion USA. He's a rich German who made his millions providing services (as he refers to them) to the community. These services include drugs, gambling and prostitution. He's annoyed at his board members (re: other gangsters) for failing him and to prove his point has one of them clingwrapped to death. Tanabe has a hilarious aide that seriously says nothing more than "Yes Mr. Tanabe" the whole frikken film. His lead henchman Ivan is pretty funny too.

Anyway, each of the three cops get a fax/phone-call/letter from a stranger telling them to meet at an abandoned warehouse that night. Captain Fuller (John Saxon, another veteran, who among other things was in the fantastic Italian poliziotteschi, Blazing Magnum; expect a review of that soon) has been after Tanabe for years but he always slips away due to lack of evidence. He believes that only the combined forces of Cody, Carver and Crews can finally bring him down for good, and as he is up for retirement soon wants to go out with a bang. For some reason he thinks this plan will only work if the three cops live and train together in the warehouse. They agree and get down to some serious montage training - Crews skipping rope and boxing, Cody doing kung-fu and meditation, and Carver failing at all of the above so instead making bombs and shooting shit. The montage is hilarious and played over by cheesy 80's electro-pop, just as it should be. Fuller thinks the three cops are slacking off too much so sends in some ninjas armed with raver glow-sticks to do battle with them. They've come right out of a dubbed 70's ninja movie complete with "fwaaaaaar!!" squeals.

This movie has some tasty bad lines. Crews cracks on to Cody with "What is a nice lady doing in a place like this?" but Carver does one better with "If you won't date me you can at least shoot me!" (he wants to test his new body armour). When trying to get information from the doorman at the kickboxing club, Crews does the old trick of handcuffing the guy to the car and making him run along side. After dodging police cars and causing chaos on the streets Carver says "I think this pig is about ready to squeal!" Crews, Carver and Cody then proceed to make Tanabe's life hell by taking away his income by arresting all prostitutes and shutting down the kickboxing club.

This is a superb bad action movie that has everything you want to cure your 3am insomnia. There's plenty of explosions and gun fights with automatic weapons, car and helicopter crashes with bad models and bodies flying through the air. When a bunch of Tanabe's men try to infiltrate the warehouse, Carver takes them out by driving remote controlled toy cars at them and detonating them! If that wasn't enough, he then flies a remote controlled plane into some dude. Which then blows up. Fantastic! It's the worst prop plane ever as well.

There are two more awesome things I have to mention. The corrupt chief of police who tries to sweep the whole thing under the carpet is none other than Mickey Rooney. I don't know how he got in this movie but he NEVER leaves his seat in his limo, not even once. He also gets the best line in the movie, which you can see in the trailer below. The other awesome thing is towards the end when the Three C's finally take on Tanabe's office building. Crews brings one of his buddies along to help - a 6" 6' beefcake named "Bear" (I shit you not) - who helps out by cutting the power to the building, beating up some security with terrible mullets and breaking some guys back over his knee.

You have to check this out. It would do well at a bad-action themed movie night (are there any other kinds of movie night?) with your mates. It's the right length at under 90 minutes and doesn't let up except for a few 'moving' moments between Cody and Crews, but that's okay because there's boobs in that scene. PM Entertainment, you've done it again! And I'll see you all at review number 100.

The Video:

I reviewed the R2 DVD and it was fine enough for what it needed to be. Picture and audio quality were up to the usual PM Entertainment TV standards and did a very good impression of a 1980s film; overall it had a charming quality. Presented in 4:3 fullscreen.

Sourced From:

$5 from eBay UK + shipping

Trailer:

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